B tard

I don't heart theory!
Originally uploaded by borderlys.

“B” tard.

Ok, so I know I am geeking out by getting all upset about my B average right now, but it’s seriously hurting my intellectual ego right now. I can’t help but feel inferior when it seems like I am part of the 8% (this is a hypothetical number I have used to emphasize how I feel) that is not being rewarded with As every second day. And yes, we do get assingments back every second day because we have to hand some in every second day.

I am trying to be positive about this – really, the point in my doing this Master’s is to learn. It’s to improve. Nonetheless, when the options are A, B, or fail, I’ll take the A thank you. None of this second grade B shit. “But Lisa,” I am sure you are now thinking, “you speak five languages! Get over it already, you are not an idiot!” To that I say “Who cares. It’s not getting me As at the moment, is it?!?!”

It’s ironic, because just the other day one of my professors was talking about how grades get you to the Master’s, but once you are in, they are baisically irrelevant. The fact that I get Bs won’t prevent me from getting a job; it won’t prevent me from getting published (I doubt this will be the case anyway); regardless, it just plain feels shitty and nothing (other than getting an A, of course) can make me feel better about it.

mr sandman, bring me some SLEEP!

....so it's 1:21 am and for the second night in a row, I can't sleep. Asides from this being extremely frustrating, it's somewhat concerning. I need my mind to be sharp so I can do all my work! It seems I get sleepy precisely at the wrong time -- during class. Contrary to my usual get-tired-at-10:30-go-to-bed-at-11-wake-up-at-6am routine which has kept my body and mind in tip top shape so far, my bodily schedule is all out of whack. OUT OF WHACK I SAY! It has since turned into a go-to-bed-at-2-wake-up-at-6am routine, and I don't think I even need to explain why this is a bad thing. Ever seen sleepy Lisa? Sleepy Lisa = grumpy Lisa, and grumpy Lisa is no fun at all.

We could turn this into a riveting phiosophy 101 excercise:

Lisa is sleepy
Lisa is grumpy
Therefore if Lisa is sleepy, she is grumpy.

and now we have a truism. I think. Please keep in mind that I took this class some 6 years ago, and it was in French, too boot.

On top of all this I have thoughts of constructivism, functionalism and liberal pluralim running through my mind. Then there's the inductive qualitative paradigm that pops up now and again, and "am I properly using a semi-colon in this sentence?" .... "oh! now, what about dependant clauses?!" and "yeah that guy in my class is pretty cute", and "how the hell did I manage to talk for $142.79 worth on my cell phone last month?!"..................


Now if you will excuse me, I am going to try to convince my body (and mind) to sleep.

Back to school!

Well I have been wanting to update my blog and had many an entry idea, but unfortunately I never got arround to it, my enthousiasm for the entries has since faded and I been simply too busy with working, trying to stay in shape, eat well and get all my pre residency work and readings done. So I write to you from rainy Vancouver, and until it startd raining like crazy I thought I might like to move out here in the next year or so...it seems to be the place to be, since most of my good friends are here and I would like to be a part of their lives; and I also feel it would be easier to take on the new healthy lifestyle I am trying to take on here in in Vancouver. There are yoga places, organic food stores and sushi restaurants everywhere here! what's not to like?! Rent is also cheaper here (or the same price, at the most) compared to Calgary......

Really though, Vancouver is beautiful. It's grey, but manages to remain so colouful! The leaves are bright orange and bright red and green, even if they skies are grey. Just the rain......the damn rain! The weather really is much milder and it's nice to be here....

So I stat school on Monday and I am definetely looking forward to it! Got just about all my readings done and am feeling pumped. PUMPED I TELL YOU!

nerdin' out,

Lisa